


A Terrible Waste of Fantastic Equipment

by lionessvalenti



Category: Being Human, Being Human (UK)
Genre: F/M, Merry Month of Masturbation Challenge, Showers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-02
Updated: 2012-05-02
Packaged: 2017-11-04 17:17:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/396267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lionessvalenti/pseuds/lionessvalenti
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alex can't resist taking a peek at Hal in the shower.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Terrible Waste of Fantastic Equipment

Alex leaned against the bathroom wall and peered into the shower. She wasn't up to date on ghost etiquette, but she figured it was rude to watch blokes in the bath, especially her house mates who could see her, unlike maybe if she ended up in a stranger's bathroom.

The truth was, she hadn't _meant_ to rent-a-ghost into the loo, but now that she was here, she wasn't going to miss the chance to steal a peek at Hal's bared backside.

If things gone differently, Alex wondered if she might be seeing this, except under better circumstances. She'd only really gone after Hal as a bit of a holiday fling, but she had really liked him when she met him, no matter how odd he was. However, that was before she died and he drank her blood. It was still too much to simply put behind her.

Hal turned about halfway to grab something from the shower floor, and now in profile, he revealed an impressive erection.

Alex's eyes widened. "Are you going to do something about that?"

Hal jumped and spun around. His foot slid on the wet porcelain and he grabbed the shower curtain, and Alex wasn't sure if that was more to keep himself from falling or to cover himself. Once he finally righted himself, he kept the curtain over his private parts, but it couldn't mask the outline of his hard-on.

"What in the hell do you think you're doing?" he asked, his voice strangely high pitched. "Just because doors don't apply to you, it doesn't mean you can go anywhere you want, whenever you'd like. There are still rules."

"It was an accident," Alex said. "Are you really not going to do anything about that? Because that's really fantastic equipment you've got there. You shouldn't ignore it like that."

Hal reached behind and turned off the water. "Not that it's any of your business, but I have to keep control. Sexual interactions are distracting from the routine. They require a loss of control, even one by one's self."

"So, one wank could lead to your ultimate demise?"

"Yes."

"So, you just ignore it?"

"Yes."

Alex raised her eyebrows. "You're telling me you haven't had a wank in more than fifty years?"

Hal swallowed. "No, I haven't."

"Oh. Well, then, that must be hard on you." She paused and chuckled. "Hard on."

He didn't react. He gave her that blank stare he was so good at.

"Sorry," she muttered. "If it makes you feel any better, I can't masturbate either. I mean, I can, but it's weird. I've tried when you lot are asleep, because I'm bored, but it just feels like... nothing. There's a spark, and it's fine, but it doesn't feel like an orgasm. At least not the way it felt when I was alive. It's very frustrating. Of course, it was always better with a vibrator, but--"

Hal cleared his throat loudly. "What would actually make me feel better would be if you left and let me get dressed."

"Don't worry about it, I've seen a bunch of blokes naked. It's nice, but there aren't any surprises here."

"It's not for your benefit," Hal replied through clenched teeth.

Alex blinked. "Right. Yes. I was just saying, it'd be a horrible shame to waste that." She motioned toward Hal's curtain-covered crotch, then rent-a-ghosted out of the room.

In the privacy of her room, Alex leaned against a wall and hiked up her skirt. She certainly didn't want Hal to relapse, but there had to be some kind of medium for him. She might have to like to watch him stroke himself, to see his hand running over that impressive cock.

With her fingers pressed against her tights, Alex felt the spark hit her, but it wasn't the same. She might have to accept that it would never be the same, but god, at least she could do it.

She'd been angry at him, and even though she wasn't anymore, she was still holding the grudge. Now, however, she just felt bad for him. One simple pleasure and he couldn't even have that.


End file.
